Affirm This

Affirm This. A couple months ago I served as a cocktail server for an event that cost…well let’s just say…more than my wedding will probably cost. Hundreds of family members and friends gathered together to lavishly celebrate a birthday. There was a DJ, dance floor, open bar, buffet of appetizers, buffet of main entrées, coffee bar, desert bar…you name it…they had it. It was a party I wished I was attending as opposed to serving, for sure! As I went table to table checking on guests, and pushed my way through the crowd to serve trays of food and drinks I nodded my head to the music and wished I could join everyone on the dance floor. It was a fun party, but it was a long night as the one serving. Their birthday celebration did not end until 1:30, which meant the staff and myself did not leave until 2:45am. As I bussed all of the tables and began carrying platters back to the kitchen, I stacked the dishes by the dish washing station…and then I noticed him…Emmanuel*, the man who washes all of our dishes. I've noticed him before. I've introduced myself, said hello...but much of our interaction has been quick as I've hurried back to my guests. As I stacked the dishes in my hands for him to wash, I carried on my usual interaction: smiled and said thank you. In broken English he hurriedly said, “You’re welcome.” I couldn’t help but pause for a moment and lock eyes with him. This sixty something year old man, wrinkles beginning to form around his eyes, sweat gathering on his forehead…I thought to myself…I wonder what his story is. I wonder if he has a wife waiting at home. Children? Grand children? What did he do before this job? Has he worked here long? And then the big question that truly pierced my heart…when was the last time someone affirmed him in his hard work? The dishes stacked higher and higher and higher…was his heart racing? Was he wondering when he’d actually get home tonight? Does this happen most nights? I turned around and returned to gather more dishes. By the time I came back the dishes had stacked even higher and as I set my dishes down and began organizing them to make it a little easier on him…my heart had to move a bit…I went around to Emmanuel…placed my hand on his shoulder. He jumped. Startled. I said, “Thank you so much for your hard work.” And I smiled, locking eyes with him. He looked at me stunned. And after a moment. Said, “Thank you, mi preciosa.” Now, my thanks did not make Emmanuel’s work load any lighter…my thanks did not do much of anything…some might argue it just made me feel better. BUT, I would argue…that what it did do was validate Emmanuel and affirm him as a man working by my side. What it did was make him a real person to me. And it made me a real person to him. It put us on an even plane. There is a huge amount of separation in our culture. I saw it on perhaps a more exaggerated level when I traveled abroad, but I’m seeing it every day now right here where we live. How do we bridge the gap? Affirmation and validation. A simple touch. A simple word of thanks. A simple word of recognition. Has the potential to bridge the gap between server and dishwasher…Manager and Employee…Child and Adult…Educated and Less educated…Homeless Man and Businessman. I’m learning that part of opening our eyes to the need in the world and part of just playing the part of a person here on this planet is to truly look around and see…who am I ignoring…who can I affirm…who can I validate? It starts here…Affirmation…it paves the way and invites true change to begin to emerge. Striving to Affirm those I connect With, Regina *Name in this story Change for Privacy.

Agape

Agape: love. a commitment to do good to someone else. To regard someone in such a way that you commit to their good.  When there were 99 sheep and one was missing Jesus went to find the one. He pulled in the sheep and said you are mine. Thats the love of God.... taking initiative. Love. Reaching out and loving others even in your time of hurt. Thats what God did..... he took initiative.  I read 1 John 4:7-21 this weekend and almost fell off my chair. It hits you hard..... read it slowly. You see, Love is a God-thing, and it shows up in people who are born of God and know him. God's love in Christ, took initiative to meet our greatest need...... he DIED for OUR sins. His love that is expressed among his people displays the fullness of his presence.  Verse 12 says..... No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God lives in us, and his love is perfected in us.  I don't know about you but its hard for me to believe in a God that I can not physically see. I don't know with 1000000% of my being that he exists..... but you know what? I see God is others, I see God in the youth that I work with each week...... I see God in the miracles that he creates, the sun that he brings us each morning, the skyline that I drive past each day, and the ways he works in my life. I see Gods love in an entire new perspective when I realize how huge his love is for us. I look at the word love in an entire new perspective when I understand how precious this word is.  LOVE- a commitment to do good to someone else. To regard someone in such a way that you commit to their good. Doesn't God do that to us each and every day? We don't deserve that. We fail him daily.  Lets look at the word love in a different way...... "We know love by this, that he laid down his life for us-- and we ought to lay down our lives for one another." 1 John 3:16  We fail God daily. The LEAST we could do is to show our love for him by radiating it to others, and laying down our life for him. If we as his people don't get this message right we are sending the wrong message to the world and failing to show who God is. WE are a family of love. Lets continue to love one another so that we can sense that God is among us.  How often do we say "oh i LOVE starbucks..... or i LOVE that movie." What does that kind of love mean? I can bet it doesn't mean the same kind of Love that God has for us. Why do we use the word Love so lightly? Love is love..... it shouldnt have so many meanings. Is that failing God? Shouldn't love be forgiving those who have hurt you, or holding onto God when you feel like you have nothing left to hang onto? Guard this word of love. Treat it with the utmost respect. Lets guard this word of love shall we? When we say "I love you" or "I love that ....." Think of Gods love.... and if it compares....... than say it like you mean it. I think it's safe to say…. that I truly LOVE all of the supporters that God has brought Firefleyes….. remember that you are truly cherished and truly loved. Stay tuned.

God, bring it on....

Its been over a month since our team arrived home from Africa. I have gotten a lot of requests for posting a blog. Questions have been coming up..... "Why didn't you post while you were over there" "Why have you not posted since you have been home"
My answer is this...... How do i begin to post what im witnessing while im over there? How do i put together words when i come home to paint some sort of picture for you all? Its a battle I wrestle with God each and every day.... HOW do I tell the story? How do I begin to tell you about baby Mabinty that i held in the hospital during her lasts breaths...... how her mother could not afford her blood transfusion so she was out on the streets trying to find money...... I paid for her transfusion...... 30 dollars. Is she still alive? probably not. How do i tell you about the slum we visited...... can't really call it a slum, i would call it a garbage dump..... literally. How do i describe the smell that overwhelmed me, or the children digging through the garbage trying to find a scrap of food to bring home to the family for dinner....... can't believe this happens? well it does, cause i saw it...... a young boy next to me found an onion peel, smiled, and ran back to his home to show his mother what he got to eat that night. How do i describe to you the sweet sweet sounds of the children in the villages singing the good news of Jesus....... the way they praise their father with every part of their being, or the way the lift their hands as they pray without giving a care in the world who was watching. Have you ever seen a 5 year old stand in front of his peers and give his testimony of what the Lord has done in their life? Probably not. Amazing isn't it? How do I tell you about the people that have forever changed my heart..... Auntie Alice, Aunty Marie, Osseh, Quami, my amazing team, the people in the villages, the hundreds of children that looked into my eyes in the week we were there.

Its not all depressing..... you see, God has this profound way of finding hope in the midst of tragedy..... want to hear about all the HOPE God gives in Sierra Leone? I saw HOPE when our team danced for two solid hours in the dark of night with 86 children at the center (talk about dripping in sweat!!) I saw HOPE when we took the afternoon to walk up and down the streets to pray with whoever we saw, to tell them the good news of Jesus...... HOPE when pastor daniel gathered children in the village to tell them who God was, and to then watch them accept him as their Lord and Savior.... and clap with excitement.......imagine that. HOPE was radiating once again when our team visited an orphanage off the beaten path. Two teenage girls half way across the world became my sisters that day..... and we will forever have a bond that again..... i can't describe to you. HOPE washed over the church service when a teenage girl who had suffered from a dark past because of the choices she made recommitted her life to Christ in front of hundreds of people.....HOPE is found in tragedy... and that is what we learn from people who live in poverty.

I can tell you this...... God is working, and he needs our help. He wants our hearts to break for what breaks his so that we can then do HIS work, with OUR hands. I can tell you that his love for you is a love we will never be able to comprehend. I can tell you that in Sierra Leone i felt angels among us every step of the way. I saw angels among us in the faces on the streets...... Have you ever met an angel?.... an angel who has punctured your life? Has this angel changed your life but also brought you closer to God? I can tell you that God wants you to reach out. Do the small things to show God's great love at work. Simple things done with great love will change the world. Your service power is not based on who you are, but who Jesus is through you. Based on that, i can tell you that you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you, and that when we offer ourselves to others, we offer ourselves to Christ.

Go.... right now. Pray about it. Sit with it.... and figure out where God wants you to serve. I promise it will fulfill your life in a way that you never saw possible.... Don't be average. Don't just exist......live. Take your passion.... and do something to impact the world.


Sitting with a heavy heart tonight as i miss my other family in Africa right now... But feeling inspired as to what God has up his sleeve next. If Challenges are what we live for then this is what i have to say..... God, bring it on.

Love to you,
Bethany

Darkness Cannot Overcome Darkness

Last week an insurmountable amount of people lost their lives and homes in floods and tornadoes across the Southeast. Entire communities have banded together to pick up the pieces that lay around them. Yesterday afternoon I went to a Welcome Home party for a friend whose home sustained extreme damages in the Nashville Flood of 2010. A year later, groups of people who gathered just a year before to help this family in rebuilding efforts, were now celebrating in the joy of restoration. What do these situations have in common? Light overtaking the darkness. In the midst of darkness...someone grabs ahold of light and says...no way, unfathomable situation..you will not take away my light. You will not overcome me.

On my last trip to Sierra Leone Bethany and I shook the hands of a man who has taken a huge part in the suffering of others. The weight on my chest I felt in his presence made me feel physically ill. But upon meeting him...all I heard in my head was, "Don't you judge him, he has a story too." Where does brokenness come from? Gosh, I'll never answer that question. But, I think a better question could be when does brokenness thrive and produce more brokenness? When we give negative energy to an already negative situation.

Martin Luther King Jr. once said, ‎"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." Our nation has been engaged in a War on Terror for the past 10 years. As of yesterday evening it was announced that Osama Bin Laden, public enemy number one had been killed. A man responsible for the death of more than my brain can fathom, and shed darkness on so many lives had now been killed. A nation rejoiced.

I preface my future remarks by saying, I grew up for the first eleven years of my life as the child of an Air Force Officer and almost every male member of my family has served in the United States Military, including my cousin who graduated from West Point and now serves in Afghanistan. I take pride in the work our servicemen do because they give of themselves for the betterment of others. They humbly give of their lives. BUT...there it is...yep...there's a but...I cannot and will not rejoice in the death of a man. I will lament in the brokenness that was in his heart and the damage produced. But in order to squelch the darkness...we must overwhelm the situation with light.

My thoughts over the past few hours are in no way eloquent. I've tried to come up with some quip statement to really drive the point home. But my heart hurts. My heart hurts because just days and even moments after wrapping the darkness of those close to me in light...the negative energy produced by this one man was met with more...negative energy.

We all have a story. We all have a reason for where we have come in our lives. If I were to lay my brokenness on a table in front of you...lay out all of the negative things about myself, all the terrible situations that have occurred in my life...it would provide insight to others as to why I respond and act the way I do. It may not excuse it. But others would certainly understand where I come from. And beyond that...I certainly hope that my brokenness would be viewed by others through a lens of love rather than hate and judgement (ESPECIALLY by the people who claim to live for a Savior who exhibited nothing BUT light.) I certainly hope each one of my inadequacies would be met by others with, "So now what...? Let's move forward." Osama Bin Laden has a table of brokenness too. He did beyond terrible things. I don't excuse any of his actions for a moment, but instead of throwing parties, instead of shouting "USA ALL THE WAY!" Perhaps we should be covering the families of those affected by the last 10 years (and the years that we still have ahead) in LIGHT...and I don't know...perhaps covering Osama himself in light and saying, "So now what...? Let's move forward." Let's move forward with LOVE AND LIGHT!


Regina

Life is Beautiful

I get stressed out a lot. I don’t know why really. Because I have a lot to do? Because the things I’m doing are somehow so important that they necessitate me freaking out? As I sit in here Sierra Leone…I’m confused. The past two days have been so busy. But they have been the most joyful. Sure there was a moment during Arts and Crafts day yesterday where we had 25 boys running amuck, not paying attention that I thought I might loose my cool for a moment. But then I took a deep breath. In and out. I forget to breathe. Even if I don’t show it on the outside, sometimes inside my head I want to punch something when my to-do list is too long or the traffic is not fast enough or the man in line at the store does something that annoys me, or something doesn’t go my way. What does any of it matter? Just breathe. There’s a youth pastor named Rob Bell that did a series of videos called ‘Nooma’ videos and one of my favorites is entitled ‘Breathe.’ He says God is as close as the air we breathe. Each breath we take in and out we can feel the very existence of the God who created us. The exuberant fun we have had the past few days has reminded me just that!

Yesterday we had ‘Arts and Crafts Day’ at the center. We took each room group after nap-time and gave them a wooden cross to decorate with paint pens, glue and colorful beads! It was meticulous to organize, but it went well! Grandma Linda and Stacey stayed in the back of the room and painted the girls fingernails and toenails and the boys played outside while they waited on their turn…at the end we had 70 some odd decorated crosses drying on the balcony! It was so awesome watching each of them decorate their cross in their own unique way. Encouraging them, helping them. It was so great!

Then this morning we finished the playroom!! All of the bins are organized, nursery rhymes hanging on the walls, dress up clothes hung on colorful hooks, encouraging words and animal faces hung on the wall, stuffed animals aligning the book shelves…it’s exactly how we envisioned it! We had an arts and crafts table made for the main room and hung a mural on the wall of Noah and the Ark with a heading that says “God Keeps His Promises.” And tomorrow we’ll finish off the whole project by finishing our “Reading Corner” where there will be encouraging Bible Verses hanging from a fish net along the wall! We broke it in by giving the teen mom’s a break and bringing their babies up to draw and play with puzzles. Regina and Mariatu are the two teen mom’s at The Center. They each have two children. Once they joined us with their kiddos we gave each of them a purse with nail polish, perfume and lotion and gave the toddlers some dress up clothes. Then…the dance party of all dance parties began! Dancing with them was nothing but pure joy. Unabandoned joy. Nothing better.

This afternoon we also went to “Sports Day.” Sports Day is a huge event that each school puts on. There are 7 of the older kids at the center who go to Secondary school and participate in many of the track and field events. We got to go and sit in the stands and watch them run, jump, relay etc…I have never felt more like a proud mother than I did today! We cheered the loudest…our kids were the best…and I’m sure that Isatu has a future as an Olympic Athlete in the Long Jump! Encouragement. Another incredible uninhibited, joyful, stress free experience. The thing I noticed the most was how beautiful it was watching two of the heads of the Center, Pastor Daniel and Uncle Daniel, encouraging the kids and playing the role of “Father” for them as they competed. Don’t you remember how it felt to look in the stands when you were younger and see your parents cheering you on? Or if you didn’t play sports…to look out in the audience out of the corner of your eye and see them watching you perform? It was the best wasn’t it? You never felt more proud. Take a breath! Life is beautiful!

The past two days I have been constantly reminded of every breath I take. And how joyful that is. Not stressful. Joyful. It’s in the moments when we breathe, sit back and just enjoy the fullness of life that we are captivated by our very existence! What if each day we took a moment to dance around uninhibited? What if we took time to encourage the people we care about…but tend to forget about because we are constantly going…because we don’t breathe. To forget the stress of our to-do list or forget the little annoyances that we make a huge deal in our mind and just live.

Tonight we went to prayer time with the teen mom’s and their caretaker Auntie Alice asked me to explain why I think a relationship with God is so wonderful. I smiled and looked down into the big brown eyes and smile of the adorable little 2 year-old baby girl, Zainab, that I held in my arms and had my answer right in front of me. When I look into the eyes of a child, up at the stars, the moon, the sky…every thing…every specimen…every molecule…all the life around me…I know without a doubt that I have a relationship with unconditional light and love…that no matter what darkness may come to me or anyone around me that there is light and assurance of a God who is so powerful, so mighty that he gave us life. He breathed into us. And if he breathed into me…shouldn’t my response be to breathe in each day to the fullest? Why stress? Why not just live out beauty? Life is beautiful. ☺


Hope You See the Beauty in Your Life Today,

Regina

P.S. For all my theological and seminary minded friends….I apologize for my constant use of the ‘masculine’ in reference to God…you may insert whatever gender you feel necessary to encompass his magnitude. ☺

Take Your Love Wherever You Go

Here is a recap of the past couple days:

This whole morning consisted of me sleeping in bed with a stomach bug. I was not feeling the greatest so I resorted to my top bunk bed. Jesus healed me and after my nap I was golden ☺ We created a play room for the kids in the guest house. The TRS guest house is just one building down from the orphanage where all the kids are so it works great to create a play room at the guest house for a group of kids to just walk over anytime to play! Thanks to all of YOU and your crafty donations we were able to create a FUN playroom with crafts, pictures, costumes, books, trucks, baby dolls…. You name it, we had it! We can’t wait to bring them over to play; it will be SO wonderful for them to just be kids. It turned out so so cute! Pictures to come! After we did that we walked over to the center to do some arts and crafts with the kids. We had brought small wooden crosses with us so they all painted and applied beads to them. We explained that the cross represents Jesus dying for us on the cross and taking away our sins, and all the colors and beads remind us that Jesus rose from the dead and his love is now so beautiful and everlasting. They had such a blast being creative. Most of them didn’t understand the concept of applying glue or how it is used. It was so fun to watch on my end while the kids explored their creativity and make something special all on their own.

Later that night we were all really hoping for some water. The pipes broke here at the guesthouse so we have been without running water this whole trip. Bucket baths feel AMAZING at the end of the day! Most nights the security guards or some of the workers at the center would go get buckets of water for us to wash with, but last night we didn’t have any. I walked down to where the teen mothers were sitting outside and asked where the water source was so I could go get myself some water to wash up with. Regina, one of the mothers said she would go with me. We walked down a rocky hill….she was a pro! She laughed at me because it took me so long to get down there. It was dark so I was terrified! I asked her, “Regina, is there snakes down here?” She said yes, and laughed very hard when I grabbed on tight to her! After filling the buckets with water I asked if I could help her carry it up the hill. Without any hesitation she lifted the heavy bucket of water and carried it on her head all the way up to our bathroom. It was the sweetest gesture, and it meant so much to me to have something to wash up with that night. Those few minutes really opened my eyes…… these people work so hard here. We take everyday common occurrences for granted every single day of our lives…..running water, flushing the toilets, driving in the car, and having a roof over our head…. The list could go on and on. We don’t have to walk miles to go get water to drink or bath in, or walk the streets a lone as a young child with no one to love us. Look around you people…. You are so blessed.

Today was the best day of my life. We spent the entire day with the teen mothers that live downstairs with their children. Both of these girls are 20 (just like me) and we bonded so much today. We gave them purses, painted their nails, gave them perfume, and did girly things with them all day. They LOVED it. It was so rewarding to laugh, sing, and dance with them all day….. it was just like spending a day with my girl friends back at home. We share such a tight bond and can’t wait to see each other again. It was the most fun I have had in a long time. We ended the day with them by sitting on the porch with their care giver auntie Alice, their two friends Emmanuel and Santos, the babies, and the Firefleyes team and sang worship songs and prayed. We prayed for thanks and we prayed for the broken. The most special moment was while we were singing and praying I was holding 3 year old Daniel in my lap. I was holding him tight and praying in his ear. It took my breath away sitting with my brand new friends, and sitting under the stars in Sierra Leone. Thank you God….

There is a day dedicated each year all across Sierra Leone to each school hosting a “sports day.” To us in America it would be like a track and field day. Some of the older kids at the center go to school out in the community and don’t attend school with the rest of the kids at the center. The older kids participated in the sports day today. We went to go and cheer them on and MAN was it fun! I felt like a proud mother screaming and yelling for all our little kiddos as they were running around the field! All the locals were looking at us “white people” like we were crazy and plugging their ears. They must not get into sports and cheering on their kids like us Americans do ☺ It was such a great time!! I was so proud!

Tomorrow is our last day in Sierra Leone. I am sitting on the balcony tonight under the stars and looking over all of Freetown reflecting on the past week. I am so grateful to our Lord for bringing these precious people into my life. They will forever be in my heart. Until we all meet when I get back …. I will part with this story to sum up this past week……. Today as we were getting organized and fixing up the playroom we were playing fingerprints of God by Steven Curtis Chapman. I was singing the words right as Auntie Marie (our cook) was walking by. I stopped her and gave her a big big hug and sang these lyrics right in her ear. I then asked if she knew how loved she was. You see…. These people truly are the fingerprints of God. They reflect his love and his grace in their everyday life. Praise God for them….. they have shaped my life in more ways than I ever thought possible….

Taking my love everywhere I go,
Bethany

All you need is Love...

All you need is Love…

I have been slowly writing small portions of a blog everyday. I have not had time to post them, so thought I would compile them all together in one blog. So here it goes…


Today I met my angel. Today I met the inspiration to get me through the hard days when I head back to the United States. Today I met the biggest miracle I believe God has ever created…… Today I met little Lucy…. Who stole my heart forever. Let me fill you in on Lucy’s story so you can understand my love for this young girl.
Lucy was found abandoned on the beach as a newborn, and seemed to be handicapped. After she was found she was taken to an orphanage that thought of handicapped children as “abnormal” or a “curse.” She was left in a corner for days after days, while her body was withering away. No food, no water, and absolutely no love. After many months Lucy was finally saved and brought into the arms of TRS. Lucy has made SO much progress and now smiles, giggles, WALKS, and can respond to the things we say to her. What was once a girl close to being one of God’s angels is now a miracle in the making, and teaching ME how to enjoy my life for all that it offers. Lucy and I have bonded so much since meeting this week. She runs to me when I put my arms out and her laugh is SO SWEET! She giggles when I walk in the room and loves to play “peek a boo!” Tonight during prayer time before the kids went to bed I rocked Lucy to sleep. She snuggled right in my arms and I said a prayer in her ear thanking our awesome God for his child Lucy, and bringing this piece of joy into my life. I love Lucy with all my heart, and I think you can see why …… Praise God for this little bundle of joy.

I could go on and tell you how many days its been since I have showered, how unbelievably hot it is here, or how long its been since I have had a cold drink of water…… but all that seems so trivial when im surrounded by more love here in Sierra Leone that I never knew even existed. Recently my faith has been tested in so many areas of my life…. Being filled with doubt and worries that have made me question many aspects of my life. When I come to Sierra Leone all those doubts and worries go away… I see the Love of God in every single beautiful face and every smiling child. I find myself having more compassion and love for the people of Sierra Leone this time around. After my first trip I didn’t think my love could get any deeper for these people. They are all a family and always look out for one another. The love that surrounds me here is unlike any other. It’s truly a gift from God.

The guesthouse that our team is staying at runs a teen mom program. The moms and their children live in the basement of where we are staying. Today I walked down there and spent some time with the mothers and their children. Zainab and Hannah are little toddlers and boy are they CUTE!!! They giggle whenever they see me and run up to me to pick them both up. Today Zainab and Hannah sat on my lap out on the porch. (Keep in mind our guesthouse over looks the ocean and is on top of the hill to see all of Freetown) We laughed and played and laughed and played. I remember thinking in those moments that life could not get any better. I also spent some time with the teen mothers and we totally bonded. I asked how old they were and we all came to the realization that we are “sisters for life” because we are all 20! We shared a sister hug and prayed for one another. We thanked God for bringing together his sisters in Christ no matter their skin color and no matter where they live. I feel so blessed to have gotten to know these beautiful girls that I can now call my sisters …..

There is something really humbling about waking up in the morning in Sierra Leone, walking out to the balcony of our guesthouse that over looks the ocean and Freetown, and hearing 80 beautiful children next door singing and saying good morning to their Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I’m in Africa. Friends, can I tell you something? We don’t have the kind of love Sierra Leone has back in the US….. we don’t have the kind of respect and compassion for one another as the people do here….. and we sure don’t have the zest for life that comes across here. How is that possible?? We have EVERYTHING we could ever want, and still choose to complain, and treat each other with complete disrespect. The people of Freetown live in garbage, have no roof over their head, and wonder everyday when their next meal will be, yet they have Christ inside their heart and it shows so much.. Its unbelievable. They give thanks to God for everything that they have in their life and praise him for all the blessings he gives them. How cool is that? THAT’S love and THAT’S compassion. We can learn a lot from them ……. I know I have.

Today was beach day! We had a BLAST! It was such a treat to watch the kids truly having so much fun…. They swam and swam and swam alllll day long. They are exhausted now, and so are we! It was the most beautiful beach I had ever seen in my life. Regina and I taught the girls cartwheels, leaps, toe touches, and all kinds of dancing moves. They LOVED it! There was one point while I was sitting in the water with children all around me and I looked up at the sky…. And had to pinch myself to be reminded that I was in Africa. Could it get any better than that? I feel like this trip is just filled with so many of Gods blessings. I am so grateful for the people of Sierra Leone and the love and friendship I share with them. I feel as if I have a family in the United States and a family in Sierra Leone, and I love them just the same.

Cause the Whole World Needs It

Man, it is so good to be back. I feel like I blinked my eyeballs and I’m back again. Only, there’s no water to shower with…soo…we smell. But, we all smell, so no worries! The first day we met the kids for the Welcome Ceremony and then headed back to organize all of our materials! We’re decorating and organizing an “Arts and Crafts” Center, at The Guest House, to be used by the kids at the center as a “reward” for good behavior. We made some great headway on getting things going and by the end of the week…it’s going to be so great to see it all come to fruition. The rest of today was lots of logistics…taking care of plans with Quami to make sure that our arrangements have been made for all the different projects through out the week. Last night Tina had a dinner party for a few of the staff members at the center and we were able to join them! After we ate we went around the table and all shared our stories with one another. Hearing their stories and sharing our own was so incredible. It was incredibly humbling to listen to their unique willingness to be vulnerable with us. Today we experienced a full day of emotions. We started out at the Hospital where we fed bread, cheese and water to approximately 100 mothers and sat and prayed with them, went to another orphanage in Sierra Leone where we fed a little under 100 kids bread, cheese and water, donated baby dolls, a few soccer balls, left two bags of rice which can feed the kids up to 4 days and baby formula!! After that we went to Kroo Bay again to donate shin guards, jerseys, soccer balls and gave them an update on the process to help them with their soccer field. AND THERE WAS NO MOB! Laugh if you want, I was so glad and thought it was just awesome! We handed things out a little differently than last time, thanks to guidance from Quami and things ran smoothly.

This being my third trip I thought maybe I would have the routine down. But here I sit again after visiting these places and I’m in a daze of contemplation. Not surprised…but dazed. I’ve felt tears up to my neck since the last trip but have been incapable of releasing them. I have a friend back in the U.S. that I have a pretty special bond with and before I left for this trip they said to remember, “Love and Light.” It’s a common phrase we pass back and forth, but every time I hear it…it never fails to bring me comfort. It seems like a simple reminder, but one that I constantly need. Love and Light. But…let’s be honest…sometimes the darkness seems to suffocate the light, don’tcha think?

It makes me think of Firefleyes slogan, ‘Lighting the fire in hearts again.’ That statement means that somewhere along the line…someone took your light. Can someone do that? Can someone actually take the light out of someone? Definitely. Now, don’t get me wrong, we have control over how much we allow someone to affect us, but I’m talking about deep, unthinkable darkness that you feel to your core. I think we all go through periods where we feel our light and ability to love has been taken from us. We see things that are so dark…we feel like we’re drowning in it. We hear of darkness that blows our mind and makes us even wonder if we know what darkness actually is! As a result, I believe a lot of us go through our days with cynicism and negativity wrapped around our hearts even if we claim differently. Can that fire be reignited? Most certainly. But it takes hearts determined for reconciliation and healing. And unfortunately, in our world, there some extreme despicable darkness that almost seems beyond reconciliation. It’s not. It’s just not. As I hug the little bodies of the children at The Center, seeing the pure joy on their faces amidst their brokenness, watching them play, seeing a glimmer of light on a mothers face in the hospital when she smiles for a split second…they have light. They’ve experienced trials that threatened to extinguish that light. But the battle of love and light has and will continue to win.

There’s a song called “Shine Your Light” by David Crowder that says, “Shine your light so all can see it, Shine your light cause the whole world needs it.” The whole world needs it. Not just us. Everyone. These children need people to continue to show up. To be there for them. That makes sense, doesn’t it? Don’t you feel the same in your own life? Don’t you want people who know you need help to continue to be there for you? Think about it with me. Have you ever felt abandoned? Alone? Hopeless? We have a chance to show them that love has come into their lives and it is not going anywhere. It’s here to stay. My heart is overcome and once you know their stories, personalities, hearts…you’re done. It’s over. God calls you to them and says, “Shine your light cause the WHOLE WORLD needs it.” Whatever brokenness you feel in this moment I hope you will know that not only is there someone out there who loves and wants to show up for you…but there are people all over who need YOUR LOVE and LIGHT as well! Don’t let your light extinguish, other people need us ☺


Haven’t Showered Since Sunday Morning…hmmm,
Regina

Imagine with Me?

*Point of clarification: The blog below is an edited version of the original form! Below I paint a picture of the life of Quami, The Country Director at The Raining Season and I include images that were shared with me by him, as well as other caretakers at the center, about life during the war in Sierra Leone (images that they heard about or actually saw themselves). In the earlier blog the wording made it sound like Quami was actually a child solider himself, which is NOT the case. When it was brought to my attention that it read that way I wanted to make sure to clarify and edit my writing! Quami had a terrible, and incredibly moving, experience where he potentially could have lost his life, but at no time was he subject to being a child soldier himself! My apologies and I hope this paints a more accurate portrayal!*

Our last two days were wonderful! We spent Thursday morning presenting gifts to the caretakers while the children were at school and got to know them a little better! In the afternoon we did a fun Vacation Bible School day teaching about Jonah and the Whale through story, song and some fun activities. I was in charge of BINGO…and enjoyed every second of calling out the numbers in different voices to symbolize how God speaks to us in different ways…so we have to listen closely ☺ Afterwards, we picked out costumes our Nashville team collected and we had a small dress up party to end the day! The day before, at the hospital, we had seen the most unfortunate Sierra Leone has to offer and the next we were able to rejoice in what can happen when we put our hands together to build a life for those who need us! We ended the day by watching children who were too broken a year ago to run around and play make believe. They are still on their journey to healing, but they are learning they can be anything their heart desires!

I want to try and paint a picture for you. It’s going to be hard because nothing in our world compares to what this looks like. But, can you imagine with me for a while? Imagine you are 17 years old. You are in love with sports and show immeasurable promise in soccer and basketball. You’ve even been offered the opportunity to play at the professional level! When you were 8 your father passed away leaving your mother to work as hard as she could to raise four children and put them through school. When you are not at school or at church you sell vegetables in the market place to lessen her load. So far, you can put yourself in this person’s shoes, huh? Imagine one day a dark cloud looming over you and your entire country. Imagine your city attacked by brutal rebel forces. You live in fear of watching your neighbors, friends, family members savagely murdered before your eyes. You live in fear that any day you could wake up to someone invading your home and forcing you to fight as a child soldier. Child Soldier? You hear stories about young boys within your community being injected with cocaine…feeling it seep into their blood stream. You could be forced to kill your family and rape your cousins. A gun could be placed in your hand as you are forced to fight for the rebel “Cause.” What is the cause? Can you imagine? Can you imagine living in this fear? Can you imagine a world where it’s common place to see people beaten and their hands, feet, arms, legs chopped off and left for dead? A world where people kidnap pregnant women and cut their stomachs open to steal their children to bring them up to fight for them. Can you imagine? Can you imagine knowing these atrocities are running rampant through your entire country? Can you imagine that one day as you are walking along the road you are interrogated for being a part of a rebel cause by a man you know has murdered hundreds of people? You are 17. You try to convince him you are not a part of this “Cause.” This man forces you and your childhood friend to strip down naked and ties you to a chair. You will die. Can you imagine closing your eyes and deciding it’s okay if you die and praising God for the life you’ve had? Imagine opening your eyes to that same man coming into the room, setting you free and saying…you can go. You grab your clothes, take only the time to put on your underwear and run as fast as you can to your community where your friends and family are stunned because they knew you were surely dead. Can you imagine this world?

We might be able to imagine…but we can’t possibly fathom it being real. No matter who the president is…no matter the situation…a ton would have to change in America for something like this to become reality. I’d like to boldly say…it would never happen. I don’t think a single one of us can imagine this world and make it realistic in our hearts. This 17 year old is Quami, the Country Director here at The Raining Season. Many of these images are images he and the caretakers at the center have described to me and our team. What’s even more stunning to me is that Quami faced death in the most brutal sense but still saw the beauty in the life he had lived to that point. And to this day he stands tall with the brightest smile I have ever seen. It’s not just a smile of joy…but of strength. Reality is, this is the world many of these children were born into. And although there is now peace in Sierra Leone…they do not have to imagine a world where people go hungry, commonly die of diseases before age 5, where mothers die in childbirth every day, where they are prostituted out by their mothers, sexually abused, beaten, trafficked, exploited…they don’t have to imagine because they coexist within this world…they are products of this. This is what they know. Do you know this world?
I certainly do not know this world. When I was 17, by U.S. standards my family is not wealthy. But we are more than blessed. Thanks to even more opportunity than I can imagine, I went to one of the best private schools in the nation, danced my heart out in one of the best dance schools in New Orleans, had the most up to date clothing, was a leader in every club I could get my hands on. I was encouraged to do anything and be anything I wanted to be. And…at the end of the day I went home to a four-bedroom house where my mother made an incredible dinner and I sat in the living room to watch T.V. with my family. Now…obviously things were not “perfect.” Nothing ever is. But, when I was 17 I coexisted in a world where my biggest struggle was whether I would see my name at the top of the cast list for the school musical.
Last time I was here I said over and over that nothing in my regular life compares to what I have seen in Sierra Leone. Last night, as Quami shared his story with our team he began to share about his time working with another organization called Children of the Nations. He had the opportunity to travel to America to speak in Florida, California and Washington State. While there he visited Disney World. He said, “I did not know how to go home and explain what I had seen in America. There is nothing in Sierra Leone to be able to explain what this Disney World is.”
Do you see what is wrong here? I can’t go home and explain severe malnourishment and human trafficking….and he can’t go home and explain the theme park where dreams and wishes all come true. That’s sick…and twisted. It makes every fiber of my being disgusted. It infuriates me. Not because I somehow think we should all feel badly for the opportunity we have grown up with, but because I feel like we are all more selfish than I could ever have realized. We do nothing with our opportunity. We benefit ourselves. If you disagree with me…I’ll be glad to discuss it with you…in depth.

If you know me well you know that I preach grace, reconciliation, peace and unconditional love so much that I could get a pretty awesome job with Hallmark. I don’t focus on sin because I know our focus is on grace and mercy. I base my Christianity on the resurrection rather than solely on the crucifixion. But…coming here reminds me how much I need to take a good look at how I live and where my priorities lie. I think we all should. The deepest desire of my heart is that these stories and pictures would not just impact my life but that you would hear my words…please let them seep into your spirit…and know how important it is for us to take a good look at ourselves and where we put our focus.
Are we imagining a world where we have our dream job that we believe will bring us fulfillment? Are we imagining a world where we have the nicest house in the best neighborhood? Are we imagining a world where we can just sit in our pew on Sunday Morning and think we are following Christ because we can put a check on our “Be a Good Person List?” Or are we imagining a world where we get up and do something? Where we look into the eyes of someone who has tasted and seen the most despicable injustices? Where we lavish the forgotten in so much love that we not only bring about reconciliation through the works of our hands…but that we finally discover true fulfillment?

As I type these words I am sitting on a chair overlooking Freetown. I see rooftops of homes that with one storm could easily come crashing in on the families beneath them…but I look beyond those rooftops and see the most beautiful clear blue sky and the crystal blue shoreline. I see the waves crashing against the sand and listen to the sound of the busy city streets. Above all of this I hear the sounds of drums off in the distance and hear 85 children laughing and clapping as they joyfully sing and play. There is promise. There is praise in the face of death. 85 children have found a home where they have caretakers who love them. They go to school and safely play in their yard. They get to go to the beach and run around collecting seashells and covering themselves in sand. They have people to counsel them about their past demons. They have people to hug them and cover them in love! They get to imagine! They get to imagine what their world could look like. Imagine themselves to be anything they wish to be! Will you imagine their world with me? Let’s make it happen.

See you in four weeks Sierra Leone! Until then…Peace and Love, Regina

Callused Hearts

Today our team went to the Government Hospital. We passed out bread, cheese and water to the mothers and sat with the children and got to know their stories. Some of these women are in the hospital up to three weeks (sometimes longer depending on the circumstance) and unless they leave their children they are unable to get food for themselves.
The night before we went to the hospital I was extremely anxious and (as hard as it is for me to admit) scared of how I would respond to walking into the hospital again after my experience there last time. My roommate wrote me a letter the night before I went to the hospital and said to me, “It’s okay to be devastated. But, don’t you dare let a single callous form on your heart. It’s a survival tactic for you, but a death sentence for those babies. Have God’s heart…and let his strength carry you through it.” But, I did not want my experience there to cloud my vision of what I was supposed to see today. I wanted the faces and circumstances of the children and women in the room to be my concern. But…inevitably I knew emotions would come back from my time with Allie. As much as it hurts to truly allow myself to feel…she has shaped who I am in a deeply profound way, but not at the expense of being able to be there for others in that hospital…it only strengthened my understanding.
I’ve said this before…I’ll say it again…it is not…it is NOT okay that children die because they do not have enough food. It is NOT okay that children die of diarrhea. It is NOT okay that children are dying because they have malaria or a “cold” or any other disease that can be cured in the United States at the snap of a finger.
Seven months ago I walked in to this hospital and my heart was shattered. Walking in again there were a new set of stories that needed to be told. When you think your heart can’t be broken anymore…your hurt grows deeper. Last time I held child after child, but this time, for whatever reason...I felt God telling me to focus on the mothers. I still held babies burning with fever and writhing in pain from malnutrition, but I wanted to emphasize to the mothers their importance. Our team sat with them, asked them how they were doing and offering to pray for them if we could. I really wanted my words to convey to them how strong and courageous they were for standing by their child and taking care of them in their time of need. How easy it would be to just give up and leave. The fight seems too grave. I wanted them to know that they were loved and thought about as well. These people are forgotten. I wanted them to know…that we know. If you saw this hospital…you would say the same thing. They need someone…they need YOU…to fight for them!
In June our team had gone to the ICU, where I met Allie, but because things in there are rather hectic, Erica decided our large team should try to stay out of their way and serve the other rooms instead. But, as our team was nearing the end of our time there I looked over at the nurse’s station and locked eyes with one of the nurses. She got the hugest smile on her face and we both ran over to one another. She said, “You were with baby Allie so many months ago.” I nodded speechless. “You remember me??” “Of course I do,” she replied, “You loved her and cared for her. You loved her as your own. But we lost her.” Chills came over my body and I asked her if any of the other nurses I was with were there. She took my hand and took me back to the room where baby Allie changed my life 7 months ago. I saw the security guard who helped me while I was there and he remembered me too. Chills continued to cover my body as I walked with Monito, hand in hand. As I walked back into the room where the team was still visiting with patients, a woman and a severely malnourished little boy followed me into the room and asked the security guard if they could speak to me. The little boy was 4 and his mother had passed away. The woman had traveled from fifteen miles outside of Freetown to get this little baby treatment. You could see every bone in this child’s body. Every rib, vertebrae, every bone down to his pelvic girdle…he was a miniature walking skeleton. Erica gave them money to help get food while they waited for the doctors to see them, but before I walked away I asked the little boy’s name and the woman looked me in the eye and said, “Ali.” I’d like to say I immediately broke down crying but more than anything I was frozen. I placed my arm on the woman and asked, “May I pray for you and Ali?” I don’t think I’ve ever prayed such strong words over someone. I don’t think I’ve prayed such words over anyone as I prayed over these mothers, grandmothers, fathers, and children.
We have no concept of what it is like to go without. We have no concept of what it feels like to function around poverty like this. I cannot even presume to know the suffering and heartache that these people endure.
Each of us has brokenness. We have each experienced things in life that have hurt us deeply. All of those things shape who we are positively or negatively. And we each have a choice in how we respond to the difficult situations in life that we are faced with. We’ve each had to allow God to carry us through suffering. But I think we view our suffering in the U.S. a bit backwards.
I guess what I’m saying is…we all have callouses on our hearts. But what I see a lot is, that we never allow ourselves to feel the emotions enough to truly heal from something…to truly move beyond whatever tribulations we encounter. I think often times we spend so much of our lives getting over whatever tribulation we’re encountering that we put on our tunnel vision and only focus on ourselves. We cover our hearts with so many callouses we never have room to let someone else in…or…serve someone else who truly needs it. I don’t mean to be rude when I say this and I’m CERTAINLY speaking to myself as well…but…get over it! We need to stop letting our hearts be calloused and holding us hostage from being a stronghold to the world around us. Because these people need us! They need our brokenness. They need our hearts to be softened to remember that they are there and need our help! We need to get over ourselves.
I saw calloused hearts in the eyes of so many today that truly need us! Calloused hearts of desperation. Their eyes are glazed over, void of any emotion. How else do you cope while helplessly watching your child die?
I only hope they heard a word today from one of the 25 people in that room…to know that there is a God who knows and loves them. There are people who know about them and are willing to fight. Our team shirts say, “I will fight…for the one who is exploited, broken, trafficked, abandoned, stolen, abused, forgotten, orphaned…we will win.” We. Will. Win. These mothers need to know that they are known and someone is fighting on their side. Someone who says...this is NOT right! And, we will NOT be defeated.
When I sat with Allie 7 months ago, I quietly whispered in her ear describing the world she had awaiting her. All of the beautiful things she had yet to taste, feel and see. I prayed those words over every child I saw today. Because, it’s true…each life has a story to tell and “where you live shouldn’t determine whether you live” (Bono.) Know that the same is true for you…you have a story to tell through and in the midst of your brokenness. But where we live shouldn’t determine whether we only care about ourselves. I’ll leave you with the words to the song I sang that day to Allie…and know these words are true for all of us…and have the ability to move us to action to make a difference in a world that so desperately needs us to fight for the forgotten…
“Our God is Greater, our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other. Our God is HEALER awesome in power, our God…our God. And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us and if our God is with us…then what could stand against?!” What could stand against us? Our own calloused hearts?

Praying my heart would be Softened,
Reg

P.S. I have to say, it was so beautiful and a privilege to watch such a large team experience this together today. It was an honor serving side by side with such a strong team! Almost 15 more people have now tasted and seen this crime against humanity and can go home to tell the stories of the forgotten.

Take joy my king

You know that song that goes, “I love you Lord and I lift my voice to worship you, Oh my soul, rejoice. Take joy my King in what you hear, let it be a sweet, sweet sound in your ear.” The past two days that is what I have heard in my ears. My mother is a choir director and as a child in her choirs we would sing this sweet simple song. ‘Simplicity’ seems to be the word I hear through all that we have been doing. Simple acts of kindness. Simple joy. Simple love. Yesterday we spent the day at the center. We went to church with the children in the morning and listened to Pastor Dan (the orphanage pastor) deliver a message to the kids and caretakers. We watched and listened as the children sang their hearts out and spoke their prayers aloud. Uninhibited worship. Offering all that they are to God and allowing their souls to rejoice. It seems so simple to lift our praise to the God who created the universe. But I don’t think I do that. But…it’s so simple…
Then, we organized all of the presents each group had collected for the children. Each child received a backpack and outfit. The boys received 5 toy cars and the girls received a doll, necklace and bracelet. Each team member is responsible for 4-5 children and we were able to pick out and collect our children’s gifts and give them to them. It was like Christmas. I’m not a parent, but I got a glimpse of how it must feel on Christmas night after you’ve carefully picked out gifts for your child and you take a picture of them all so neatly placed out before the kids come barreling in to tear in to them. What a simple joy!
At the end of today we had a Carnival Day for the kids, as well! The kids rotated from game to game: hula-hooping, face-painting, nail painting, football, bowling, golf and much more. For each game they won a certain amount of money and then could buy prizes at our prize store! Simple games, simple fun, which fostered joy in the hearts of each child!
One story I would like to share is about one of our team members, Hailey. She has 8 children that she sponsors here at the center. The last time she traveled to Sierra Leone she felt a very special maternal connection to these 8 siblings. As we were collecting our items for the kids I looked over and watched as she carefully picked out gifts for her 7 boys and 1 girl. It was more than beautiful watching her pick out those gifts with such an obvious joy and compassion for those children. It was simple. But it was deep unending love she was exhibiting. It’s hard not to show that type of love to these kids, but do I show it to the people in my life back home?
For the rest of the afternoon we played with the children as they opened their gifts and helped them pick out a new pair of flip-flops. These children take so much pride in their belongings. It makes sense though. You cherish what you have once you’ve had nothing. The simple act of giving them a shirt lights up their hearts more than you can imagine. Gift Giving. Another simple way to say…I care about you…I take notice of you.
This morning we went in to the community around the center to families who we know of that are in great need. We split up into groups and went with a translator to these houses and met the mothers and children. While with them we were able to offer a small monetary gift in TRS’ name and ask if we could pray for them. It seems so simple to be able to walk up to someone you see in need and offer them a few dollars and feel like you some how deserve a medal for your good deed. One of our team members, Amy Coggin (who is also on her second trip), spoke some incredible words while we were out. We had just left a home and were traveling to the next when she began to cry at and said, “It seems so self-righteous of us…we have so much and yet I feel like we’re just throwing them scraps.” Her heart was breaking. She spoke beautifully the words my heartbreaks for too. Lori, another team member said, “You’re placing words on what many of the team is probably feeling but don’t know how to express yet.” But, you know…we have to do something. We can’t just see and not do something. And as I said before…a relationship starts with something small and as you build trust those simple acts grow and foster something bigger, something deeper. Amy had said a prayer just moments before where she said, “God help these people to know how much you love them and how special they are. Help them to know that we love them.” Simple words, right? But more than important for us to hear and hold true!
It does feel self-righteous to just go and give a bit of money and turn around and go home and live our lavish, privileged lives. But, I have to believe that being broken to this need in front of us has to start somewhere. It starts with something simple. It starts with giving someone a small token of our love for them as a human being; introducing yourself and saying “You matter to me. I will fight for you.” If we don’t, who will?

Simply Choosing to Love,
Regina

Good Intentions

Wow. Wow. Wow. I don’t think I can consolidate all of this into a short blog. Beth told me I didn’t have to write something inspirational every time…(that means: Regina, stop being so wordy, haha) But I can’t help myself. Every thing I see here breathes new light on our purpose here on earth and I am bursting at the seams to share it! Today we went to Kroo Bay and began a Feeding Program feeding 5,000 children! Describing it as mass hysteria does not scrape the surface. Exhausted and filthy, we made our way back to the guest house, cleaned up and headed over for the Welcome Ceremony at the Center! Like last time…this is one of the most joyous sights a person can experience! 85 children praising and singing ‘Welcome’ to YOU before you even enter the gates. Before they see you...they love you! The graciousness and thankfulness they express is overwhelming. And having the kids remember me and see how much they have grown! Having them trample us to the ground with their love! AHHH! It was the best. Simply, the best! We watched them play soccer, we jumped rope (Amy Coggin being the all-star of them all!), we sang, we danced, played drums…the happiness factor was through the roof! I met Mary, the little girl I sponsor! And I saw Gerald and Geraldine (the twins I went to the doctor with last time)…they are sitting up and crawling and holding themselves up! It is just simply amazing what love will do. I say that all the time now. But it is just that simple, people! Love. Unfailing, Unconditional, deep, rich love. It’s what God gives us through our relationship with him. That is what these kids give to us. It’s what they deserve in return. And it’s what I hope we’ll all learn to give one another! My Thoughts: Good Intentions.In relationships we all have good intentions. There is usually a person in the relationship who means well. Whether it is for better or worse, in an ideal situation, in a relationship we have the best interest of the person we are relating to at heart. Is this always true? No. But stay with me. I have a friend who has been in a rough place in life recently and I have had the best intentions of being there for them. I felt like they needed someone to be there. They needed a shoulder to cry on. More than that...I wanted to be that person because of how much I care for them. Loving them will help them get through this time, I thought. But what a person actually needs and how we see to fix it are not always the same thing. Did this person need ‘my’ love…maybe…but perhaps there was a deeper need I was not meeting. A few days before I left for my trip I ran into a homeless women and her child with Down syndrome. Standing in the cold with no coat, I decided it would help the situation if I were to pull over and give her my coat. The mom promptly told me…I can’t carry any more things, and my daughter will not wear your coat because she does not trust you. My intentions were good. I did not meet their need, this time. Which brings me to my next point. Relationships require trust…which requires time. On our way down here a Finish man sat in front of us as we drove to the dock to board the boat to Freetown. He asked me what we were doing and when I told him he said, "you’re only here 9 days? What can you do in nine days but show your face and leave?" I thought, "We sure can do a lot in 9 days, sir!" This all may sound like rambling but inside my head I’m beginning to sort through some questions about relationships. Not only with our loved ones but the broken hearted, the orphaned, the forgotten. You see we can have the best intention,s but if we are not feeding the actual need we do no good. If we don’t take the time to ask, "what is it that you need?" we may be trying to build a house on sinking sand. My friend may well have needed me to leave him alone. Rather than assume I could fix the problem with a coat I should have asked the homeless women what I could do for her. Because we can have the best intentions…but when I look at the works of Jesus…he didn’t assume…he got in there and found out what the problem was. And more poignant than that…generally he had TRUST of the people he was relating to. I see this happening here in Sierra Leone. I see The Raining Season building trust and taking time to address the need they see in front of them before jumping in and fixing the problem they see fit to solve. It see intentionality. They are addressing things from the inside out. They are building relationships one-step at a time. But…simply asking the right questions doesn’t always solve the problem right away either. Nothing is ever easy J Today in Kroo Bay…I saw desperation. I’ve seen it before. Last time Beth and I were here we created quite a mob as we past out baby dolls and had to be escorted out with the soccer team barricading around us to keep the children from bombarding us. But today…it was unimaginable. I don’t quite know how you problem solve that. So many variables are involved in the reason why the village lay in the extreme poverty that it does, that all the good intentions in the world will do nothing without a little trial and error. We went in today to feed 5000 children! Initially, they were going to bring in 2500 and give them two meals to take to another child. Once we got there…things looked a bit different. We began handing out a plate of rice with a fish sauce and water to each child. As the first group of children finished their meals they were escorted out of the building and the next round of children were going to be brought in. Things began to get a little chaotic, but we got them fed and out. Then…hysteria broke out. We ran out of hot food and were just going to give a bag with 2 cups of rice per child as they came through a line. More and more children and parents began storming the doors of the building. Children began beating each other up. Strangling one another. Pushing, shoving. Crying. As children came through the line we noticed many of them limping and we knew things outside were not going well. They began having us hand out packets of rice through the window because we could no longer safely bring children in to the building. We calmed the crowd down and tried to bring a few children in. As I looked down, a little boy ran by crying and holding his hand tightly…his fingers were broken. Another little girl ran in crying holding her hand tightly and Cari and I ran to see if she was alright…her finger was either sprained or broken as well. With no tape or medical supplies, Cari and I were able to use our pony-tail holders to splint the little girls finger as best we could. What do you do when your best intentions begin to create such hysteria that desperately hungry parents and children are hurting one another so severely? How do you problem solve that? What system do you try next? How do you do problem solve that according to the context of the culture that you live in? I’ve heard of it being done in other countries…but this is a different relationship, you see…you can’t do things the way you would do them in Nashville, Cambodia, Panama, Russia…it has to be done the Sierra Leonian way. What way is that? How do you help a village voted the World’s Worst place to live?? It goes without saying that it was an incredible blessing that enough money was raised to feed 5000 children. A Feeding Program began today that will continue over the years and, by trial and error, a model will be implemented to help children get a hot meal without being stampeded to the ground. But…how? It wont be done in 9 days time. It will be done by the sustainable presence of organizations like TRS that are willing to move in to the neighborhood. Organizations that are willing to say…this can look differently…organizations that say…Dreams. Spark. Change. I believe we are all in a place to have a sustainable impact in ministries like this…but, if anything, I think we should begin looking at our intentions within our relationships. Are they what the other person needs? Are we building trust? Are we moving in for 9 days, long enough to show our face and then hitting the road? Or are we building sustainable, trusting, meaningful deep relationships where we get to the root of the matter and figure out why God placed us in that person’s life? I’m sure beginning to figure out my place here. No answers yet…but I’ll let you know when I do. Until then...Help me fight to SAVE the ORPHAN! We'll keep trying things till we figure out how to restore God's kingdom together!

Intentionally and Unconditionally (hah), Regina

Home Sweet Home!

Our team made it safely to Freetown! I have to say, this trip was less eventful than our first. I never ran in the airport once! I kept bracing myself for the “RUN TO OUR GATE” or “It’s time to rebook our flights we’ve been delayed and we wont make it to Africa today.” But all 20 of us safely made our way to Chicago, on to Brussels and then to Freetown!

I left Nashville with quite a heavy heart. Half of my mind has been on this incredible trip ahead of us and the other half struggling to let go of the things back at home I have facing me. But, I was not even through security in Nashville when I began crying and was able to begin to shed home and focus solely on what God has awaiting our team. And the second I stepped foot off the plane and saw the “Freetown Airport” sign and smelled that lovely smell that says “you’re in Sierra Leone” the excitement hit me that tomorrow I’ll be bombarded by a massive amount of children waiting for nothing but love! And I cannot wait to give it to them!

Oh…and I have a boyfriend in Belgium. He works in security. He checked my bag and, as he tragically confiscated my Nutella, he told me I must be an angel and asked if I would like to sit with him on my layover and eat the Nutella with some bread…or perhaps just a spoon? Hah! I politely declined. Dear Men in America, I’d have a boyfriend a lot faster if I lived abroad. Haha. J

Tomorrow we hit the ground running! We’ll be going to Kroo Bay in the morning to feed 5000 children! Just the thought of this amazes my mind! We’ll be bringing through 2500 children who will get two meals and will be taking one back to another child at their home. The Raining Season will be documenting who gets the meals and another Feeding Program will happen again in February.

Our team is staying at the guesthouse The Raining Season now runs. Comfy chairs and couches, an amazing cook, bunk beds…it’s so cool to see so much growth in just six months! But as is life in Sierra Leone…the electricity went out about an hour ago and although I showered I’m already covered in sweat J I have to say, though, despite the humidity, lack of air and conveniences we hold tightly too back home…I couldn’t be happier.

Completely exhausted and so glad to be in a bed! Thanks for all your prayers! Our journey begins tomorrow! Woo!

Peace and Love,
Dancing Through Life,
Regina

I Dare to Believe...

I can hardly believe it! In 16 short days I will be boarding a flight on my way to Sierra Leone for the second time. Even typing it right now I don't fully believe that in a little over two weeks I will be back with the group of children who stole my heart before I even met them! I'm traveling to Sierra Leone this time with a huge team of people from all over and am extremely excited about what we have awaiting us in Freetown! I cannot wait to share my teams experiences with everyone along the way!

Over the past six months the experiences Bethany and I had back in June have stuck in the forefront of my mind. I know they have stuck with Beth as well. On a daily basis I think of Allie. On a daily basis I close my eyes and am back in the hospital holding her little fingers. I hear the children laughing and playing at The Covering, feel the rain on my face as we danced in the mud of Kroo Bay, feel the children jumping into my arms with the brightest smiles...full of hope and promise.

You see. Even after we boarded the plane home these people's lives went on. Mothers kept pouring into the hospital with their dying children hoping for someone to save them. Children were brought to the doors of The Covering and given a chance at a better life. And I went home to begin another semester of grad school, working full time and filling up my schedule to the brim with things to do. As a product of corporate church I have gone on a few mission trips. Each one I have come home from having furthered my spiritual journey and, if I'm brutally honest with myself, have felt like I deserved a gold star for my good deeds for the week. Somehow life looks different when you have stared into the eyes of a child who was dying because there was not enough food for her. Not just one. But rooms full. Somehow your world view shifts. But the life you are surrounded by doesn't. Because, Corporate Church and Upper Middle Class America did not have the same experience so they go on functioning within their comfortable box. While we're left fighting to reconcile how life should actually look. Some days I've thought I was being too hard on the world around me. This is my passion. Not theirs. But then I stop and think...who's passion shouldn't be saving dying children?

As you can tell...I've struggled with the indifference we're surrounded by here in the U.S. I watched a video entitled 'Depraved Indifference' and they sum it up well by saying, "Oh we care, it's not that it doesn't move us on some level to hear about these kids across the globe...we care, but we can go home tonight and sleep just fine. How is that? It's because there's an indifference and it's naturally born within us. That life isn't affecting us, it's not in our backyard, we're not related to it...it's someone else's issue...in fact we start quoting scripture about God being a father to the fatherless...we're like thank you God that you are a father to that child...but God rescues the fatherless through US...God rescues the weak through OUR hands, our LOVE, our TIME...through YOU...and if you don't do it noone will."

These trips to Sierra Leone are more than just "mission trips." It's more than a gold star. Once you have been you can't go home and sleep just fine. It does affect us. We are related to it. It is our issue. What I find infuriating is that it takes actually holding a dying child in our arms to realize that's what we are here for. Why is it that we must experience it ourself before we actually sign on to begin restoring our world the way God intended?

I dare to believe that it doesn't have to be that way. I dare to believe that through the stories The Raining Season, Firefleyes and countless other organizations tell that our words would permeate and resound inside the hearts of people to inspire them to be the change they wish to see in the world. I dare to believe that one day babies like Allie will not starve, but thrive. I dare to believe that one day organizations like The Raining Season will be so common that all 163 million orphans will have a home. I dare to believe that the fire in children's hearts will ignite with such ablaze that their dreams will forever change the world.

I dare to believe this is NOT idealism. I dare to believe that this is the way it was intended to be. Because you see...somewhere I read..."For you know all about it...the contempt, the abuse. I dare to believe the luckless will get lucky someday in you. YOU WONT let them down. Orphans WONT be Orphans forever." Psalm 10:14.

Will you dare to Believe with me?

Dancing through Life,

Regina

Counting our blessings...

It’s been awhile since a blog post so thought I would catch you all up on what’s going on with Firefleyes and the wonderful things God has in store for the future. God continues to surprise me each and everyday. I have to remind myself that his will is not always mine, but I know there is a reason for his surprises if I just sit back and trust him. For me, this is the hardest realization that I will have to continually remind myself of for the rest of my life. His ways are more powerful and everlasting if we stop resisting him and give him the glory for having control of our life. I have to constantly remind myself of that….. every single day. Speaking of trusting God, he is testing me in ways that I often find overwhelming. Sometimes I catch myself saying “ God, why are you doing this… I don’t know if im capable of what you think I am right now. Can you just give me a break?” But the great thing is… God does not have limits. His ways surpass anything we could ever imagine! I often find myself praying for God to appear in my everyday life and show his presence in everything that I do. It’s a crazy journey that we are on in this life ….. but it’s a beautiful one if we really take a look isn’t it?

A first ever Firefleyes trip was planted in front of me about two months back. I will be headed back to Sierra Leone with my mom, Grandma, and Regina, along with a few other strong women. God told me to take this leap and jump….. how do I plan a trip? Regina and I can’t lead a team of people all the way to Africa all by ourselves!? What will we do while we are there? Where will I get the money? There are SO many details that go into planning a trip….. how will this be possible?! These are all questions and concerns that I wrestled with for weeks. I know that this will be a big mile stone for Firefleyes and it will be a life changing trip for us, to give us the chance to spread our love to the people and children of Sierra Leone. We have a few projects in the works…. SO….. let the planning begin!! Contact me if you are interested in learning about these projects and how you can help!!

On Novemeber 27^th from 10am-3pm there will be the second annual Firefleyes Holiday Market Place Fundraiser at Celebration Lutheran Church in Sartell. All money raised will be hand delivered to the children’s hospital in Freetown Sierra Leone in March by me and my team. The portions of food that the babies are getting at this hospital are very low because there is simply not enough food to go around for all the children who come in everyday. I witnessed this devastation first hand in June. I held the mothers while they sat on their Childs bedside knowing that there was nothing they could do. I held the children whose bones were so brittle I thought they would break when I held them close to me. Children are dying from severe malnutrition and WE can help. All donations and money raised will be to purchase formula in hopes that it will literally be SAVING lives. Praise God that we get a chance to make SUCH a difference! SO…. Why should you come to this event??

-Over 20 vendors will be coming to sell their products, such as Scentsy, Tastefully Simple, Schepers Jewelers (gold buy back from 10-2!!!), Premier Jewelry, Mackenzies, All Things Girly, Mary Kay, Pampered Chef, Tupperware, Creative Memories, Sundog Coffee, 31, Norwex, Alter Ego, Silpada Jewelry and MUCH more!

-First 25 guests in the door will get a FREE gift bag with goodies from all the vendors!

- Christian artist Christy Freeman will be giving a FREE concert in the sanctuary from 12-2!! She will be sharing her AMAING talent, so bring everyone because you don’t want to miss it!!

- The organization The Raining Season and Kids Against Hunger will be joining us in the efforts to promote their incredible mission. You can fill out their sponsor cards and be a blessing to a child all the way across the world, or sign up with a group to do a food-packaging event! They are such wonderful ministries to learn about and get involved with, so bring your hearts wide open and learn how YOU can help!

- Last year at this event there was a collection at the door for baby dolls and soccer balls. We had overwhelming donations and made HUNDERDS of children happy all around the world with a total of 400 baby dolls and over 100 soccer balls! THIS year we will be taking donations of money or baby formula at the door. Lets fill the boxes and SAVE some lives at this children’s hospital!

We are looking forward to the event and hope to see you all there! It’s a GREAT time to get some Christmas shopping done!!

I would like to close this post with a huge THANK YOU to everyone. You have all been so supportive in this journey that Firefleyes is going on. Many plans are in the making and I know it would never be possible without our amazing father God and all of you. If you would like to learn more about the projects that you can help with, please email me or visit the web site. Read further blogs about our experience this past June in Sierra Leone. Let the stories break your heart…. Then sit with it, pray about it, and ask God where his place is for you in all of this. Have your heart wide open to God every single day. He is waiting to fill it with endless possibilities!!

As I will say until the day I die…. Take your passion and use it to impact the world.

God Bless,

Bethany

Firefleyes reaching out in the local communities....

As many of you may know some horrible tornados have hit in MN in the past month. Wadena MN was one of several towns hit with over 20 people injured and many without homes and have lost everything. Can you imagine life being normal one minute while sitting in the comfort of your own home and suddenly watch everything vanish before your eyes? Or how about the young child who has lost all of their belongings and has nothing to call their own anymore?

While sitting in church this past Sunday i listened to the pastor preach about loving our neighbor and picking up the weak in a time of need. The pastor explained to the kids during the children's sermon that our neighbors are not just the people that live next to us and around us..... our neighbors are our brothers and sisters in Christ and as Christians it is our responsibility to lift them up in a time of need.

Jodi Wilken is a woman here in Sartell who is bringing teams together to travel to the disaster areas to help out those that were affected. If you would like to be apart of one of those teams contact me so i can get you in contact with her.

I will be taking donations all this week of anything you can give to the victims of the storm. Some of the Firefleyes soccer balls and baby dolls will be given out some of the children who have lost absolutely everything.

Ideas of what to donate:

Toys (soccer balls, baby dolls)

Clothing

Toiletry packages (little shampoos, conditioners, toothpaste, toothbrush ect)

Please contact Bethany via email or Phone if you have ANYTHING you can contribute. Donations will be personally delivered to the victims.

The bible tells us in Acts 20:35 "In everything i showed you that by working hard in this manner you must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, that he himself said, 'It is more blessed to give than to receive'"

all of creation sing with me now- lift up your voice and lay your burdens down

Its very early in the morning here in Minnesota. The time change has got my body clock all messed up. I lay restless all night....... i feel sad laying my head down at night in a house that can not even be compared to what the people of Sierra Leone live in. I feel sad sleeping in a comfortable bed while the people i have grown to love are across the world sleeping on the streets while the rain poors down on their head. I don't deserve to be living this way. Its not fair that i have everything i could possibly want and others wonder when their next meal will be or wonder how they will have enough money to feed their family. Its not fair. Its not fair....

As i lay awake here this morning all i can think about is my experience this past week how my eyes have been opened. My eyes have been opened to severe injustice in this world. My eyes have been opened to children digging through the garbage to find food, babies fighting for their lives in the hospital because the nurses have no food to feed them. This is disgraceful..... no food for dying babies at the hospital?? My eyes have been opened to the reality of this world...... i have learned that a lot of eyes here in America have been opened to the world of shopping and getting everything they want, horrible words exchanged to one another, and the attitude that the world revolves around them. Our eyes are not opened to Jesus. There is a time to change. Let me tell you about my last morning in Sierra Leone. Ill share stories and pictures with you that will break up your heart. Please let your heart be broken and let God open your eyes to the most awful and beautiful 2 hours of my life....

We went to an area in Sierra Leone called Kroo Bay on our last morning. The UN has named Kroo bay the absolute worst place to live on earth. Those of you who have seen slum dog millionaire picture the slum in that movie..... and then picture Kroo Bay being worse...

We went to meet with the chief and the soccer team at Kroo Bay to present them with Jerseys and Firefleyes soccer balls. The team wanted to compete and the only way they could was if they had jerseys. Easy fix... lets bring hope to their lives so they can be inspired to chase after their dreams.

The guys were SO grateful. They could not have been happier..... they told us that when people like us do little things to show they care in their community it motivates their team to achieve great things. Praise God! The guy next to me asked me to marry him..... they were all in LOVE with the white girls from America :)

As we weaved in and out of the path to the where the ceremony would take place my stomach began to turn. It was the first time on that whole trip where i truly felt uncomfortable. I felt sick, dizzy, and absolute disgust..... the conditions were horrifying. From the smell to the sights that we witnessed my eyes began to tear up and my stomach was in complete knots.... you can see why...

pictures do no justice to the EXTREME poverty we were witnessing...
The team wanted to show us the soccer field that they play in. After the ceremony of giving them their balls and jerseys they walked us over in the pouring rain to the "field" As we were walking my ankles were being drowned in puddles of brown water filled with mud and feces. I was doing everything inside myself to put a smile on my face for these people who were showing us their home. This was the soccer field........ i looked at Regina and said " this is not a soccer field.... this is a garbage dump" There was no place to run, no place to be free. It was absolutely disgusting.
this is just a few feet of what we were walking around in. Kroo Bay is the home of 14000 people packed into a place the size of a super wall-mart. Kids running around bare foot with no clothes on their body.
The rain began to start coming down even harder. My selfish mind was telling me to run to the car and get shelter. I didn't want to walk around in a garbage dump in the pouring rain with dirty children and then have to sit on a plane for two days.
As kids were running up to us and music was being played in the background God told me to live in the moment. Bring hope to these childrens lives who live off of nothing but the Holy Spirit watching over them. They have nothing..... The rain began to come down even harder as we grabbed each child and danced with them. Our hands were lifted to the skies..... it was the most unreal feeling i have ever had....
I was loving life. A wave of hope and joy washed over me while dancing with these children. its the small things in life that make such a difference. The gift of a soccer ball and jerseys changed the life of a group of men and my hands placed in a young childs hands dancing in the rain brings them hope.... hope that they are loved and worthy to be loved.
You should have seen the smiles on their face.....
The "soccer field" was flooded after 15 min of rain......
Pigs were running everywhere. They lived in close quarters with the people......the "river" you see is filled with mud, garbage, and feces. Kids were standing in it in the middle of the rain and collecting the bottles and garbage they could use. All of the filth ran into the ocean......It was a sight that left me numb....
It was time to give away the rest of the baby dolls that we had. We were getting mobbed like you wouldnt believe. Children in every direction pulling on me trying to get my attention. It was pure chaos... i was scared for my life! I thought i was going to get trampled! Why do kids have to be this desperate for a toy? Why do kids have to be so desperate to have something of their very own? You can believe that when they received their toy the smile on their face was incredible...... in 2 hours my life was changed. In two hours i had experienced the most horrible thing you could possibly see. In two hours i was filled with so much joy and hope..... hope for the future of Kroo Bay. Hope for a new soccer ball for the team, hope for the faces who recieved a new baby doll, and hope for Sierra Leone. My friends....... there is endless amount of work to be done. But we can start somewhere........ praise God for the people of Kroo Bay. Praise God for the people of Sierra Leone..... and praise God for life.
After Kroo bay we went back to the center to say goodbye..... the moments i was dreading the whole week. The kids sang us a song and had a verse for all of the team members. Tears were rolling like crazy!!! Look at baby Hawa... she is the CUTEST! This is her praying and singing..... ADORABLE!
Grandma was so touched by the children this week. They all called her Grandma. She gave so many hugs and kissing and shared so much love. The kids sang i goodbye song to grandma linda and there was not a dry in the place.....
The kids sang us a goodbye and prayed for us..... as the song was finishing they all came and gave us all hugs while continuing to sing. Every child was crying...... this is little Mami. Even she was sad to see us go! I realized in these moments of saying goodbye to the kids that the covering was where i wanted to be. I want to see those children everyday and love on them like crazy..... these kids inspire me. The possibilities for the future are endless...

Waving to us goodbye in the car. I was balling!! I will miss them so much.....

So there you have it. The last day in Sierra Leone. After 36 hours of travel it was good to be done. Our team was ready for a shower after 36 hours of travel and a dance session in the rain at Kroo bay! I pray that as you read this your heart would be filled with sadness. I pray that you wont read this and shed some tears for what you just saw and then go back to normal life. Sit with it.... pray about it... ask God where he wants you to be used in all of this. He has a place for you...... There is much work to be done. Your eyes have been opened...... now go..... be his hands and feet. Every single one of us.........

i'll close with a song from Britt Nicole:

Don't let your lights go down

Don't let your fire burn out

Somewhere somebody needs a reason to believe

Why don't you rise up now?

Don't be afraid to stand out

Thats how the lost get found.

Theres a really big world at your finger tips.....and you know you have the chance to change it.....

Proverbs 24:12

Bethany