'Rain' Down Your Love- Allie's Story

This is a long one…so stay with me…

Sierra Leone is an example of how our world is in a humanitarian crisis of gargantuan proportions. It didn’t just get this way over night…it has been this way for a while. Evil reigns in this world. And none of us are free from it. We are all capable of evil and we partake in evil, many times knowing that what we are doing accomplishes the very thing we say at church we stand against. We ignore it. We blame others or make excuses to make ourselves feel better. I am guilty of this. I am guilty of focusing on the trivial, the insignificant and the temporary. I focus on my well being instead of others. I focus on my personal gain rather than my personal responsibility. How do you cope with the fact that the same heart that is capable of loving unconditionally is also capable of betraying the people in this world that need us most? Kay Warren talks a lot about these thoughts in her book, Dangerous Surrender. The thoughts that overwhelm my heart as I write this are the very words I read in this book a few months ago. Nothing in my normal life resembles what I have seen or experienced in Sierra Leone. There is no escaping the poverty. Everywhere you look you are submerged in need. As I fly home I keep wondering how do I ever paint an accurate picture of my experience here? How will anyone ever understand without thinking I am exaggerating or making it bigger in my head than it really is? Kaye Warren says, “How I wish these stories were fictional or exaggerated to illustrate a point. How I wish these examples of evil were isolated incidents—anomalies in an otherwise idyllic world where goodness, kindness and brotherly love reign supreme. How I wish I could just change the channel and make it go away—the way I do when I see it on my T.V. screen, but evil is real and evil must be opposed and stopped.” The things I saw this week are real. VERY real. As you read this…they continue.

This morning the team and I went to Kroo Bay, a village the United Nations named the poorest and worst place to live in the world. Their soccer team has been ineligible to play because they could not afford soccer jerseys, so soccer jerseys were donated from Sartell, MN along with soccer balls on behalf of Firefleyes. We presented them to the chief of the village and the team and were able to speak with the soccer players about how important soccer is to them. The affect soccer has had on them is the same affect dance has had on Bethany and my life. It’s their joy of living component. As the team walked us out to their “soccer field” we were led to a clearing of trash. I looked at Bethany in utter dismay and said, “Is this their soccer field?” Bethany looked at me and said, “Regina, this isn’t a soccer field…this is a dump site…this is not acceptable.” As we walked along the water banks and stepped through Kroo Bay’s soccer field in utter disgust it began to rain…hard. Bethany and I starred at each other already soaked from the downpour and just began to dance around surrounded by this disaster. Many of the children gathered around us and we joyously danced in the rain with children in their underwear, children who were naked, children who play and live in a dump. As we were all soaked and more and more kids began to dance with us you couldn’t help feeling surrounded and entangled in the presence of God. It was the most joyous moment of our entire trip. This is what Firefleyes is all about. Glimmers of Light in dark places. Dancing in the rain amidst garbage…literally. Once the rain calmed down, the very same crowd we danced with went into a frenzy when we began to hand out stuffed animals. Grabbing at us, climbing on the covering we were under and hitting us to get our attention. Grabbing at the bags. Three year olds screaming at us to give them more. Tina later said, “this is what poverty looks like.” That is what desperation looks like. Quami and the soccer team had us stop handing out stuffed animals and had to escort us out because the crowd was getting out of control. No child should ever be so desperate for a toy. But they are. They are desperate for things we take MORE than advantage of. We all have the ability to respond to this injustice.

We went back to the center and presented the children with soccer medals for their World Cup game the day before, gave the girls hand made bows that had been donated for them and “motor cars” (as the kids called them) for the boys as parting gifts. The manner in which the children at our shelter accepted their gifts was light years away from the desperate pleas of the children at Kroo Bay. Crazy what happens when a child is provided with a family, structure, security, a full belly and love. They then put on prepared goodbye songs and skits for us as well. At the end of their last song they all gathered around us crying as they sang their goodbyes. Between that and our experience in Kroo Bay I could truly see the fire of Christ that was being ignited by The Raining Season in this incredible country.

Saying goodbye to the kids was so hard. Each hug I gave I wished it went on forever. I wanted them to know how important it was that they know that people love them all across the globe. That growing up in The Covering and getting an education and falling in love with Jesus is the very thing that will heal their nation. I wanted that hug to communicate how much empowerment they should gain through out their lives to build their country out of this destruction it has found itself overwhelmed by.

As we said our goodbyes to the staff I reminded all the head staff members to please check on Allie every day and work as hard as they could to get her to the center so I could see her when I come back in March. Tina told me one of the staff members would be sure to visit her so she knew someone was there for her. As I said before, a touch makes all the difference. Kaye Warren says, “ Physical touch conveys acceptance and love in profoundly significant ways…it says…I care deeply about you.” And I cared so deeply for Allie. Deeply enough that I stayed in a typhoid, malaria, bug infested hospital by myself and held her little hands. Deeply enough that I considered staying until she was out of the hospital didn’t only because I was told I couldn’t. Deeply enough that when the woman (not her mother) who abandoned her showed back up lying that the police had given her Allie and trying to get money out of me I stood my ground in love and patience and explained Allie was not leaving with her until she got better (a rumor even circulated around the hospital that I had paid the hospital to take Allie back to the U.S. with me.) Deeply enough that the nurses and abandoner got into a fight, about her lies, around me and I stayed calm and sang to Allie. Compassion is not an emotion. It’s a choice. It’s an action. A choice Jesus plants with in each of us to take part in. We get to choose whether we act or not. It was an act of God telling me I had to stay that made me stay with Allie those two days.

I found out on the flight from Freetown to Dakar that Allie passed away Thursday night hours after I left. I will never forget: the reluctance I felt as I walked out of the hospital and the fire inside of me that wanted to pull every string to get her out of that hospital but felt helpless. I will never forget: how she died because the nurses could not even remember when it was time to feed her unless someone was there to nag them until they did and the other babies in that hospital dying from malnutrition. I will never forget her big beautiful brown eyes looking up at me the moment I saw her and cracking a tiny smile, stealing my heart instantly. I know not everything happens for a reason, some times bad things just happen. But, God placed Allie on this earth to tell a story. A story of the strength of a tiny baby struggling to stay alive. A story of injustice. A story that we would NEVER hear in the United States. You will NEVER hear of a baby dying in a hospital because they were not fed by the staff or mother, without also hearing about someone going straight to prison. This is the world we live in. Allie’s light shone in the darkness of that hospital to tell me it cannot happen anymore. And I’m so glad I listened.

I’ve been overcome by the realities of suffering and injustice. I’ve seen it, touched it, smelt it. Allie’s life is a testament to so many things… it’s first and foremost a testament to the fact that this cannot go on any longer. Babies cannot and should not die because they are not being fed. It’s the saddest sight I have ever seen. But Allie’s also a testament to the fact that God doesn’t want us to just sit back in sadness and anger for this injustice. Allie’s life was an example of praise. This little angel’s spirit exuded strength, beauty and a message for all of us. My hope and prayer is that you are able to understand the severity of this situation and are moved to action without it being right in your face. I pray that Allie’s story will help move you to do something about it. Don’t just read this, shed a few tears and then run your errands for the day. Please sit with this and listen for how God wants you to respond to these injustices. What will you personally do? Psalm 90:17 says, “Let the favor of the Lord our God be on us; establish for us the work of our hands—the work of our hands!” Be a person who stands up for these things every day of your life rather than merely on Sundays or when a conversation of God pops up. Be a person who stands up for injustices every day of your life. I need people along side me in order to do the same in my own life. It takes us all to make a difference of gargantuan proportions. Help Bethany and myself to ignite the fire in hearts again as Allie did within us!

Praise God for Allie, praise God for creating hearts that get to choose to respond to situations like hers. Praise God that His greatest desire is for us to restore the kingdom. Praise God that a touch can help someone know his or her worth. I will remember Allie for the rest of my life but what I will remember most is that in difficult situations you cling to the compassionate and loving hand of God and dance a midst the garbage! That is when He will rain down his love on his people!

Our God is Healer,

Regina